Pond Scum and “BOTTOM” Feeders

There are truly some eediots [thanks to Ren & Stimpy] out in the ether, says Ms. Wench. Certifiable, verifiable PIGS. I had a VERY BRIEF, nondescript exchange with a young man on this pathetic singles site that went something like this: [From the pig to the wench] “Your ad is very clever. Nice to see an ad with some substance to it. Check out my profile and if interested, write me back.” I did the obligatory “thanks for the kind letter” just to prove I am polite MOST of the time. [From the wench to the pig] “Thanks for the nice letter. I did look at your profile. Unfortunately, you are much too young for me and I fear we would have little in common. I do appreciate the letter, however, and wish you luck in your search.” — Polite, but no thanks. Had not heard anything back from him and figured he took the hint and went on his merry way. He was cute but way too young and very into things that don’t interest me. Today…this very morning, I got this from Mr. Pig: “So, do you take it up the Hershey highway?” This is after a couple of weeks have gone by and I was relieved that he had chosen to cast his line elsewhere. Perhaps he thought polite responses weren’t getting him laid so he would try the down and dirty, rude, crude and socially unacceptable approach. It didn’t get him laid, but it did get him forever blocked from contacting me and reported to the powers that be. I don’t play. Even if I were in an intimate relationship with said pig, I would expect more decorum than THAT. Hershey highway, indeed. And people wonder why I am semi-reclusive…the pickins are mighty slim, ladies, but I got a hot line on a guy who is as uncouth as one could possibly ask for if any of you are interested. Can you say SPAM? I can’t think of another “human being” (the votes are still out) who would be more deserving.

The Volatile Wench.