The Happy Dance, Living On The Fault Line, Things That Go

Click and Alero Blues…

Stick with me here. I have several things to report. The Happy Dance is in reference to the Homecoming Dance at Chesterton High School. Erin and friends attended and apparently a good time was had by all. The girls were lovely in their sparkles and heels, fake nails and banana curls. I am actually quite proud of Erin, as she is usually painfully shy and is FINALLY starting to come out of her shell and get involved. Pictures of the girls are included below.

I think I live very near a fault line or some such thing. It seems that something ALWAYS goes wrong despite my best efforts at nose to the grindstone and hands on the wheel. There’s always some sort of black cloud that appears and a rumble from deep within the earth’s bowels, but I am just mean/stubborn enough to scoff and persevere.

Ms. J had what I was hoping was her final appointment yesterday with Dr. Bones. Unfortunately for her AND me, she has a brace for another 4 weeks, but at least she can finally get her arm wet and can bathe and wash her hair on her own. She has a fairly significant scar of about 3 inches on the dorsal surface of her left wrist. It may fade with time, but right now with all the peeling skin and remnants of Betadine, it looks ICKY (in layman’s terms).

The day yesterday started out with a bang…literally. My car made an odd noise when I started it, was idling VERY rough and lurching forward and pausing between gears when driving. I headed over to see my favorite mechanic in the whole wide world when it threw out a couple of codes (service engine soon and traction off) and he was able to diagnose and correct the problem in minutes flat. That’s what a good mechanic SHOULD BE able to do. Jim is just great. I trust him implicitly. He has never steered me wrong, NEVER overcharged, and I believe him to be one of the few HONEST mechanics left in the world. For 20 bucks (for an urgent/emergency visit wherein they interrupted their lunch hours to accomodate me), I was mobile again. There was a tiny little hose attached to the manifold that had blown. Apparently, it regulates something pretty important (high tech mechanic talk). It was no bigger than the circumference of my little finger [read: small] and about 6 inches in length. Jim’s shopmate replaced the hose and I was “on the road again.” It could have been a disaster, but Jim renewed my faith in all things Alero, as he usually does. My little black beast is running smoothly like a good little black beast should.

Okay…enough of that…here are the promised pictures. Oh, to be 15 again…NOT. The date is wrong. Get over it.

Dance Divas

And the next:

Dance Divas II

In Celebration Of…

Unmarried and Single Americans Week…

Doesn’t that just smack of a Hallmark greeting card?

I have no idea who thought THAT one up, but the truth of the matter is that I celebrate every DAY and am not confined to 7 days out of 365. Being unmarried/single/divorced doesn’t suck, as many people believe. I probably used to believe that myself, but I REVEL in my solitude most of the time. I didn’t get to this point without there being some hard lessons along the way, but I have the remarkable insight into what is not acceptable that I lacked during years and years in dysfunctional/debilitating/degrading relationships. I am certain widows and widowers are probably not so happy to be alone, though my wish at one point in my life was to have been a rich widow. I miss my ex-husband, but my aim IS getting better. I remember a VERY long time ago, pre-divorce #2, my adoring mate (cough, gag, puke) and I were in a heated argument, and while I don’t remember what the argument was even about lo these many years later, I remember him shrieking at me, “I have no idea what the fuck you want from me…” I, ever the peacemaker (snicker, chortle and guffaw), looked him straight in the eye and with unwavering voice and a raspy tone through clenched teeth, I said, “What I want from you is to be a rich widow.” Think that has anything to do with the fact that we got divorced? Nah…couldn’t be. The major mistake in that relationship was that we were NEVER friends and never REALLY loved each other.

The case with husband #2 was that we should have stayed friends and left off the romance. I have an aversion to alcoholics as well as people who bury their heads in the sand (or alcohol) when an issue surfaces. It’s not that I LIKE to fight necessarily, but I like to hit the issues head-on and not leave them to fester and grow like a cancer that metastasizes itself to vital organs.

Relationship #3 should have ended a full 6 years before it actually DID end, and I am largely to blame for allowing that to continue. I can’t honestly say that I loved him either and it was a wholly dissatisfying and degrading relationship. We do funny things to ourselves in the name of acceptance.

The one thing for which I am most grateful is that I no longer STRIVE for acceptance. Wysiwyg…take it or leave it…and either way, I will be just fine. I have way too much on my plate and in my pate to cry over spilled milk. Shit just happens, especially in the game of male versus female. So, what is this thing called love? It defies description. I can tell you what it ISN’T but I don’t know that I am eloquent enough to tell you what it IS. I know that it does not involve sacrificing oneself for another, although it does involve putting another person first. That’s a fine line that most people never learn to walk. It does not involve becoming something one is not to please another in the bedroom or out of the bedroom. It is not jealous or conniving or lying or cheating or bitter and angry.

I love to see an old couple walking hand in hand or helping each other along and I love to see the tenderness they have for each other and the sparkle they have in their eyes that speaks volumes…years of caring, sharing, sacrificing and working together in an effort to spend the golden years together. It’s a pretty amazing thing.

But another amazing thing is that no matter how hard my day has been, no matter how much I work or how much I don’t sleep or how little time I have for reflection or solitude, I can always find some reason to laugh and lots of reasons to smile…the foremost of those being that I am not alone while in a relationship. There is nothing more devastating than that.

I like what I do as far as a career, I have a very entertaining friend/confidante/astute little plaything. I have kids I love, pets I like, and all in all, I wouldn’t go back 3 or 20 years for all the gold in Fort Knox. There is much to be said for being CONTENT.

Wench out.

Flood – 2008 – The Pictures

Driver Wondering...

[caption id="attachment_857" align="aligncenter" width="469" caption="Flood 2008"][/caption]

Awesome view of 1100N